A Safe Place To Do the Work

An treehouse where a person is safe to work on the scary parts of finding their voice according to Nancy Bos, Professional speaker and vocologist

If you’ve been reading my weekly posts you’ve already learned about the impact of our personal narratives (aka personal stories) on our current lives.  Hint: They have incredible power!

Here’s a quick review of where our personal stories come from.

For me, they grew from how I internalized messages from other people - first from my family and then from my community. They can also come from the doctrine of organizations, like churches, political parties, and other groups (even from TV shows). 

Narratives can come from our understanding of our ancestry and how previous generations have interacted with the world. And sometimes they come from within ourselves, when we choose between fear and anger, or love and courage.

How do we rewrite the ones that are holding us back? I’m going to break down that last question over the next 3 weeks, starting today with where to do the work.

Find a safe place. The work will be hard, and you’ll feel vulnerable when you discover a story from your past that you never realized was influencing your present. I recommend to set aside dedicated time and a dedicated place to be alone with your thoughts.

  • Rent an airbnb for a solo, purposeful getaway for at least 2 nights.

  • Find a place in nature that you can be alone - remember the treehouse or fort you had as a kid? Do that again. Do not take your phone or computer. But do take a journal.

  • Long, long solo walks, hikes, and drives are a great way to keep your body busy while your mind processes.

This is a situation where “if you build it they will come.” That is, if you build the time and the space, when you arrive there, and make a conscious choice of asking yourself “Why do I feel this way?” and “Where did this idea come from?” the answers will come.

I’ve personally taken these steps many times in my life. I’ve also seen this work time after time for my singing and speaking students.  Discovering your personal narratives is a level of self-care that can have a huge positive impact on the rest of your life.

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My name is Nancy Bos. I’m a vocologist, speaker, and author. If you want to support me as a speaker, you can help by:

  • Contacting me to talk to your company or group. I’m proud to say I’ve been described as “very inspiring and entertaining.”

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  • Sending a link for my website to the person who brings speakers to your organizations

  • Writing me back an unrestrained email about how much you like my message

  • Supporting me financially by buying my books

  • Subscribing to the Every Sing Podcast. The personal narrative series starts at episode 60.

Thank you!!

Nancy Bos