A Modern Woman Wrestling with Ancestral Baggage

When my mentor dropped the bombshell just four days ago, urging me to confront my ancestral issues, a surge of annoyance gripped me. Perhaps an unconventional reaction to an unusual proposition, yet I found myself curling my lip in sheer disgust, a medley of expletives escaping my lips. My agitation was astonishing; the internal struggle unfolded like a small storm. ""What on earth? Seriously, I don't want to do this!"

Honestly, I stood my ground, shooing away the notion as fervently as a Sicilian grandmother dispersing a troupe of bothersome children.

Are you puzzled by this response? I was, too.

When I look back, it's like the beginning of an undesirable journey. It's a process that keeps happening. I remember something from when I was in ninth grade in my Death and Dying Class (cool, right?). My reaction was like the stages of grief: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance.

At that moment, I was in Denial and Anger. And it was pretty clear that Bargaining was coming up next, and it did – quickly, too.

"Do I really need to do this work? I mean, look, I'm doing fine. I'm happy, safe, and liked, and people are already finding empowerment with my message. So really, I think I can get by without this. Cool?"

I sat with that for two days.

And then acceptance happened. (I'm happy to say, literally, that I skipped depression.) I see now that burying or ignoring the ancestral issue, since I first realized it over a year ago, only prolonged the pain, and it still holds me back.

I'm choosing to look at my initial irritation a few days ago as a measurement of my progress. As I work to the other side of this issue, I expect it will resolve into some form of joy/love/gratitude. I'll let you know next week.

In fact, I'm going to devote a few weeks of articles to the ancestral issue. Of all the sources of subconscious saboteurs, it is the least concrete and the hardest to tackle. And oh so powerful.

Have you done this work? Send me an email and tell me about it.

If you've felt this way, I've got you. And if you are confused about what ancestral issues mean, I've got you there, too. We are on this path together.

This article is Part 1 of 4. Here is a link to Part 2: Preparing to Confront Grandma's Judgment: My Journey into Ancestral Healing.